Tilt-A-Whirl

~ I feel like I have a tilt-a-whirl in my stomach. It's the feeling I have had for a few weeks now, or maybe it's been a few months. I try not to think about it or let it "really" exist, so most of the time I ignore it. But lately it's getting more persistent. Faster, harder and affecting more than just my stomach. My hands are shaky. My patients are shot. I have almost a constant headache or at least a dull ache in my head most of the time. It takes me longer to fall asleep then ever in my entire life.

I kept trying to ignore this feeling, hoping it would just go away. It hasn't, like I said, it's worse. So, as of yesterday I tried something different. I tried to attack it by doing some of the things on my LONG and DAUNTING "to do" list. Yesterday I didn't feel that anxious. Yesterday was pretty good. I guess that I'm going to try it again today. I just don't know where to begin. Well that is not entirely true, I know there are a few places that I could begin, and just beginning at all would be good, so no matter where I start, at least it will be a start!

Wondering why in the world my body is reacting in such a manor lately has me even more on edge. I know I have said that I've felt anxious before, or nervous, or stressing, but honestly I had NO clue what these feelings were till they have a FULL FORCE attack on my body! I just hope I can stand strong and not let them get the best of me... trying to counter act bastards is hard, I'd like to stay in bed sleeping all day instead.